Latest: Attitudes on Marriage

Shaadi.com Surveys Attitudes on Marriage

By Amol Sharma

Matchmaking Web site Shaadi.com is out with its annual survey of its members’ matrimonial attitudes. The data offers some fascinating–and, in some cases unexpected–snapshots of what Indians are looking for in a partner, from skin color to education to likeable in-laws.

The report is based on a survey of about 150,000 people who are using the site in 300 Indian towns and cities as well as other countries including the U.S., U.K., Canada and Australia. The goal, the company says, is to “try and understand the psyche of an average marriage hopeful and the way matchmaking trends are changing and evolving.”

Shaadi.com says it took pains to use a sample that has religious, socio-economic and gender diversity, but even so, we should note that people using a matchmaking Web site–or even using the Internet at all–are obviously not representative of all Indians. So take that into consideration.

- One of the more interesting findings is that 54% of women prefer living in a “joint family” after marriage–alongside parents and siblings–whereas only 21% want to be in a “nuclear set-up.” The survey analysis provided by the company suggests that this is because couples in which both partners work want a support system around them. In 2004, only 40% of women wanted to live in a joint family.

- What if all hell breaks loose in the joint family, with daughter-in-laws and mom-in-laws fighting like on those Star TV soap operas? That shouldn’t matter too much, according to the survey, since about half the respondents would marry their partner even if they don’t get along with the in-laws.

- On education, only 10% of men said they would prefer a woman more educated than them, versus 69% of women who say they want their partner to be more educated than them. Still, about 85% of men, according to the survey, want their wife to have a job rather than be a homemaker. So a cross-section of insecure men seems to be saying, “Please don’t get any fancy degrees, but contribute some income to the house!”

- We were particularly interested to see what skin-color-obsessed Indians would say about what kind of complexion their “ideal” partner would have. Survey says: 49% of men want a fair-complexioned woman, while 65% of women say it doesn’t matter what color a guy’s skin is. (Perhaps that explains why the skin-whitening cream market is geared at women.) Interestingly, male interest in fairness appears to be on the rise. In 2004, the survey showed 41% of men wanted a fair-skinned bride.

- Increasingly, modern urban Indians are ignoring or at least seriously downplaying caste as a factor when they seek partners, viewing it as a poor proxy for compatibility. But traditional families continue to consider it a factor. In the survey, about half the respondents–54% of men and 46% of women–said caste is not a factor in evaluating their partners. That’s a significant change from a decade ago, when only 39% of men and 37% of women said caste didn’t matter.

- There was a time when government jobs were considered very prestigious, coming with good pay, a solid pension, job security and maybe some VIP perks. But now 69% of women surveyed say they prefer a mate with a private sector job. And 90% of women are willing to move to another country after marriage if necessary to accommodate their husband’s work.

- As women’s earnings increase, 34% of women are open to marrying a man earning less than them.

- About 62% of men and 70% of women think pre-nuptial agreements are somewhat or very important, which the survey ascribes to increasing numbers of divorces.

Shaadi.com has 20 million users and says it has had 1.4 million “success stories.” The privately-held company, which doesn’t disclose its financials, has a subscription-based revenue model. It’s about $60 for a three-month premium membership that allows the user to view the contact details of other members and write them messages. (You can post your details for free.)

Anupam Mittal, who founded Shaadi.com in 1996 and is chief executive of People Group, the site’s parent company, says Indian matrimonial ads have evolved over the years, reflecting changing social mores. He says whereas men once sought “innocent” women and women wanted “well-settled” men, a euphemism for deep pockets, the word “compatible” has become more common in Shaadi.com profiles.

“It’s not the same kind of compatibility we think of in the West–it isn’t just about chemistry between people but whether their families get along, language, culture,” Mr. Mittal said.

Here’s a bit more info on the respondents to the Shaadi.com survey so you can properly put into perspective what kind of sample we’re dealing with: About 62% of the sample was men, and more than half were in the 26-35 age group. About 7% were 45 years old and above, suggesting there are a decent number of Shaadi.com users who are looking for second-marriages or who were career-driven in their 20s and 30s.

 Source: http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2011/05/09/shaadi-com-surveys-indian-attitudes-on-marriage